Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
