If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
