Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
