i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
