theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
