David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
