I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
