I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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