OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
