I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
