Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
