he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Randomize
