dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
