Do you still have your period?
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I just googled if crying burns calories
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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