Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
And then he peed in my hair
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