bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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