Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
