A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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