Can i not drive my cunt home
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
