Old men and throwing up are my life now.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
