in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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