You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I think i peed on brittanys purse
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
We need to get me chipped asap
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
