he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
