Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
i've created a new STD.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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