I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
