Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
