I puked a lego.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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