I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
We got so high we made milksteak
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
