uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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