I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
