Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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