I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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