my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
