I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
