I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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