you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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