i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Pants are for mortals
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
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