youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
