I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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