The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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