I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
You should frame my arrest warrant.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
