You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
