I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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