i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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