They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
