my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
