sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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