Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
