yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
