Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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